10 Books to Read if You Want to Date Pete
I have had a few conversations lately surrounding dating, books, and intelligence as an intimidating roadblock. Before I get started on this fun little feature, let’s shed some clarity first. One, I am fine with my status as a single lady. It isn’t a burden, nor is this post a cry for help (matchmakers *wink*). Secondly, I do not believe our passions should so cloister us from any type of relationship that we can’t socialize with someone if they don’t have or share our passions or have any future chance of sharing them. I have friends and family I have meaningful conversations with and take joy in our relationship…and they are not readers. It can be done!
While I’m naming this feature “books to read to date me”, to me this list serves more as a window into who I am and how books have (and do) impact me as a person. Perhaps none of these appeal to you, but maybe you want to know or connect more with me. These titles, while huge favorites, each carry a story of their own and a story that can spark meaningful relationships. By no means do I expect someone to change who they are and suddenly read books that are not their cup of tea or try reading at all. I have learned, the hard way, you should never read a book to impress someone. Chances are they won’t be paying attention anyways (hello bookstore boy I read ‘On the Road’ for and wanted nothing to do with the Beat Generation, save beating my brains out after I finished).
In no particular order…
Wives and Daughters by Elizabeth Gaskell – When I was a teenager in the homeschool world, it was a difficult world to gain footing in. It felt a little like the people obsessed with being Purebloods in Harry Potter. I had not been homeschooled my whole life and had left public education; we were in between. Classics were not my forte. They intimidated me, bored me, and even made me feel stupid. Then at a gathering with more down-to-earth homeschoolers, a girl a few years older than me mentioned reading Elizabeth Gaskell and how much she liked her writing (better than Austen's). I think it was the way she talked about books that made it seem possible for me to try reading this classic author, even if she was a contemporary of Dickens. On the next trip to Barnes and Noble, I was shocked to discover the monstrous size of this book. Queue intimidation all over again. However, I managed to muster my determination and read the book. It was a magical moment to read a classic and not feel bored or overwhelmed by a lack of understanding of language and time.
Reasons to Stay Alive by Matt Haig – A few years ago TWLOHA’s Suicide Prevention Week Theme was based around this book. I was familiar with Matt’s work but had never read any of it. It was the first time I have ever read a book and felt understood surrounding my own mental health. This is a book I want more of my friends and family to read. I wish more people with loved ones coping with mental health would read this. In my opinion, it is a source of hope to see, on the page, so clearly the things I live with and I believe more people need to understand in order to be sources of hope, understanding, and strength for each other. Matt’s honesty, while heavy at times, is very refreshing and clear amid the chaos that can be my thought process.
Saga by Brian K. Vaughan and Fiona Staples – My siblings have been graphic novel readers for many years. In all those years I know they tried on numerous occasions to convince me to read them too. In my fear of not reading a “real book” and reading something “childish,” I deprived myself of many years’ worth of fun and engaging reading in the world of comics. Saga was the first graphic novel I read, and it ignited my imagination and joy for the medium. I love fantasy and sci-fi. I love art. I love reading. I love Saga. Saga is all of those plus it’s cheeky and filled with humor. I haven’t finished the series yet because I read them slowly… I don’t want the series to be over too soon! Don’t let outside influences fool you…reading comics is reading.
I Capture the Castle by Dodie Smith – I was tricked into reading this! When I was a teenager I didn’t read very widely or diversely. I read fantasy and more fantasy. Then the occasional school-assigned book landed me more in the historical fiction genre as a secondary comfort zone. One summertime visit to my Gran’s in Ohio and a stop at our favorite local shop there, had me picking up this book. The green and yellow wallpaper design drew me in but even more so was the shout-out on the cover from J.K. Rowling. (By the way, I rarely read what books are about because I think summaries are written in such a spoiling fashion. I count on good covers, I know terrible, and Freddy to help me find out if I’ll like something.) Well, a J.K. Rowling quote on the cover and the word ‘Castle’ in the title definitely sets this story up to be a fantastical one! Not so much, but nonetheless I persisted and fell in love. Dodie Smith writes a strong voice for a coming-of-age story. I love her word usage and the book is filled with quotable wisdom. The quirkiness of Cassandra’s family is something to warm your heart and find kindred spirits on many levels. I once had a friend compare me to Cassandra after I gifted him with the book and I thought I would squeal at said honor.
C.S. Lewis Biography – This biography stands out for me for a number of reasons. I don’t typically like or read Christian Fiction or Non-Fiction. When I was a Sophomore my Mum’s curriculum for literature was a biography and a book by the author. This specific biography really impacted the way I perceived my own faith at the time. Reading about Lewis’ turning points and his fascination with heaven were very grounding for my teenage years. The fear of the unknown has always been a trigger for me, but to read how at peace he was with heaven will be something I never forget. Also as someone raised in a faith-based home, I believe it is important to read testimonies/backgrounds that are not similar (and ‘perfect’ at first sight) to your own. Diversity of all types is imperative for growth.
The Historian by Elizabeth Kostova – This is another book that made me feel like I was a grown-up and had arrived because I picked it up when I was younger, and it wasn’t my normal reading. My friend had brought it back from a trip and I was instantly intrigued by the cover. This book is dense. I know that turns some people off, so much so the audiobook is abridged to cut out ‘unnecessary’ elements (which personally annoys the hell out of me). As you can see from my own writing, I love detail. I enjoy immersive stories and elements that you know were researched to the gills all for the delight of a story, a fictional one at that. I cannot say too much without spoiling this story, but I can say it is a more mature ‘National Treasure’ paired with folklore/history of ‘Dracula’.
A Long Fatal Love Chase by Louisa May Alcott – It may surprise many who know me to see this Alcott book on my list instead of ‘Little Women’. Alcott is my favorite author. Almost 60% of one of my bookcases is dedicated to books by and about her. While I love ‘Little Women’ and all the memories it holds for me, I know ultimately it was not what Alcott wanted to write. Years ago the copy of ‘A Long Fatal Love Chase’ that Freddy and I came across looked more like a mix between a thriller and a sizzling mass market romance. Freddy read it first and we still to this day talk about how we didn’t believe it could possibly be by Alcott. While the story itself isn’t earth-shattering, for me it is the idea behind it. The idea is that Louisa still found a way to write what she wanted to write. This book still found a way to survive in the shadow of ‘Little Women’ all these years later. It is a story I enjoyed and Louisa’s influence continues to be in my life. That I may write, write what I NEED to write, and for it to endure in one form or another.
Stay with Me by Ayọ̀bámi Adébáyọ̀ -
“I was armed with millions of smiles. Apologetic smiles, pity-me smiles, I-look-unto-God smiles—name all the fake smiles needed to get through an afternoon with a group of people who claim to want the best for you while poking at your open sore with a stick—and I had them ready.”
From its ‘simple’ orange cover to quotes like the above, this story’s subtlety and ability to shock grasped at my heart and held on. The story could have gone on and on and I would not have shied away from reading it. While heavy with thought (and subject matter) and intention, Ayọ̀bámi writes so masterfully. I’m writing this right now and thinking I need to read it again. I am so struck by her writing. I also am indebted to her because after finishing I wanted more and it sent me on a path to find more Nigerian writers, whom I love too.
Gift from the Sea by Anne Morrow Lindbergh – When my grandmother was dying, we read this book out loud together. We would discuss and talk about her life after each chapter. We would talk about the shape of the shell we were living in right at that moment. I did not love everything about this book because in many instances Anne spoke from a level of privilege I have never experienced and that can leave a taste not so pleasant. However, for the memories, it has for me and its ability to have so much to ponder, I find this book a very valuable one. The way she writes about nature feels like my childhood and how my Mum taught us to look at the world around us.
Letters to a Young Poet by Rainer Maria Rilke – I probably talk about this book too much. For such a little book it certainly houses much wisdom. I recently read the letters on my Instagram and was struck anew by things I hadn’t been to the first time. I know because this is the first book I have ever allowed myself to write in (aside from my Bible). There were parts that brought me to tears anew that I hadn’t underlined previously. I imagine Rilke calmly sitting in a corner as he observes the world and embraces his failures and struggles as growth. This book of letters holds something different for each reader and therein lies its value.
